The dog knows.

Frank has never been a cuddly dog. At least not with Troy and I. He’s made an artform out of cuddling up to kids and people who he knows will give him treats but when he’s at home he’s very much the type of dog that likes his own independence and space. I might be imagining this but I think the dog knows something is wrong. He hasn’t left my side for the last few weeks and is unusually cuddly; something I’ll take in spades because I really need it right now.

Today was another day of pain. While my energy levels were up I still can’t get the swelling and pain in my abdomen to go away which is maddening. So much so that I am starting to daydream about the possibility of getting my colon removed entirely just to make the pain stop. Yet through all of this, day in and day out, Frank has been here by my side.

We took a quick trip to the beach at Crissy Field today because I knew I needed to get outside and get some fresh air, so I packed up the dog and a beach blanket and we were on our way. Normally when we go to the beach I like to walk to give Frank an opportunity to run and meet other dogs along the way but I didn’t have the energy for that today. Today was simply a walk from the parking lot to the beach where I laid out the blanket and curled up as if I moved my living room to the beach. Frank didn’t leave my side and instead curled up into the nook between my stomach and knees and enjoyed the wind and beach from the blanket. A few dogs passed by and it wasn’t until I told him, “go say hi,” that he jumped up, ran a few laps, gave a few sniffs, and came back to the nook and plopped down.

I am feeling grateful for days like today. Nothing about today was particularly earth shattering but it was full of love and reminders of what I have and despite all of this how fortunate I am to have the people (this includes dogs….because dogs are people) I do in my life.

-Brynn