Day 1 - The Lake
"The boy reached the small, abandoned church just as night was falling. The sycamore was still there in the sacristy, and the stars could still be seen through the half-destroyed roof. He remembered the time he had been there with his sheep; it had been a peaceful night… except for the dream. Now he was here not with his flock, but with a shovel.
He sat looking at the sky for a long time. Then he took from his knapsack a bottle of wine, and drank some. He remembered the night in the desert when he had sat with the alchemist, as they looked at the stars and drank wine together. He thought of the many roads he had traveled, and of the strange way God had chosen to show him his treasure. If he hadn't believed in the significance of recurrent dreams, he would not have met the Gypsy woman, the king, the thief, or… "Well, it's a long list. But the path was written in the omens, and there was no way I could go wrong," he said to himself.
He fell asleep, and when he awoke the sun was already high. He began to dig at the base of the sycamore.
"You old sorcerer," the boy shouted up to the sky. "You knew the whole story. You even left a bit of gold at the monastery so I could get back to this church. The monk laughed when he saw me come back in tatters. Couldn't you have saved me from that?"
"No," he heard a voice on the wind say. "If I had told you, you wouldn't have seen the Pyramids. They're beautiful, aren't they?"
This is the final scene out of one of my favorite books, The Alchemist. I remember the first time reading that last sentence, and the smile it had brought to my face. One of those defining moments as I started understanding the importance of the journey and experiences along the way, and not simply about the destination. Over the course of my life, I don’t remember all my accomplishments, nor have I put a lot of importance on them. But I do remember the small and sometimes inconsequential details; surrendering to a feeling, and the ups and downs that became the fabric of who I am today. It’s said that longing for something can be more powerful than having it. And I did not want being a prisoner of satisfaction killing my desire to just explore and generate new details about my life that may define who I will become in the future. To continue having that yearning desire to discover new places, feelings, experiences and sometimes the stillness of just being. And that childlike wonder that drives you to wander.
Two weeks ago I decided to take some time off from work, and today is that first day. I arrived in one of my favorite places in the world, North Tahoe, on my way with plans to visit several national parks from south to north along the western States. Tahoe has always been that special place that lifted whatever weight I was carrying up to it, and I could not think of a better way to start my decompression and shedding of that weight as I embark on this journey.
After deciding to go on this exploration, a lot of thoughts and questions came flooding in. What do I want from this experience? How am I going to feel during it? And where am I going to be when I get back? Since October, I’ve been chasing clarity, and this trip could’ve very much been about wanting answers to the numerous question I have had in that period. Reflecting now, they were about wanting to understand why I had lost Brynn, which would have eventually allowed me to accept it. The clarity I have found, however, is that I will likely never accept it, but I am slowly coming to terms that will result in finding peace with it and myself. It's a process...
With that state of mind, I am beginning the journey not seeking an a-ha moment, a big revelation if you will, but with the desire of rediscovering my lens again. The way I want to look at the world and experience the beauty it offers. Planning this trip was the first time I experienced excitement in quite some time, and that alone gave me the lost feeling of looking forward to something. It brought desire in me to just go. And when I return, with whatever I may or may not have discovered about myself along the way, I just want to be able to say of all I will see “they were beautiful, weren’t they?”
-Troy