How fast do you drive when you’re on a long distance trip? Is your goal to get to the destination faster than what Google has calculated for you? I’m guilty of this bad behavior, too. I would wear my time of travel like a badge of honor. The Goog said 12 hours and 20 minutes to my destination. I did it in 11:47! Of course, I omit the 20 minutes lost from my best attempt to convince the police officer that I did not see the speed limit sign, or my favorite “really?! I could swear I was 18.5mph below what you clocked me at.” And the $350 speeding ticket that will ensue. I always believed these traffic laws to be “recommendations,” best driving practice, if you will. You don’t follow every recommendation you receive, do you?

The question I am asking myself now is what have I missed along the way, besides $350 fewer dollars in my pocket? A road not taken; an experience that never was, and a memory that will never be. I’ve been doing something on this trip that I don’t believe I’ve ever done before: observing the speed limit, plus or minus 5mph. Not because I’m becoming such the law abiding citizen in the twilight of my youth. But because I don’t have anywhere to be. And I’m not distracted by looking for a cop as I drive the fine line between a speeding ticket and reckless endangerment. Yes, I’m certainly going from one location to another, but part of this experience was about experiencing. And part of that experience is to be free from conditions and plans that brings me a sense of freedom to just be, and look around. Matter of fact, I pulled over on the side of the road as I entered into Zion as this urge took over that I wanted to experience the surrounding instead of passing by it on my way to the destination. I wrote this piece while sitting across from the view in the picture above. I’m not moving, or distracted by everything around me. I’m just sitting with them while they inspire me.

After I decided to take this time off, and of course with having a tremendously understanding employer who genuinely supported this for me, I did not have a good reason why I was doing this; why now, and why this type of journey? All I knew was I needed time off. I would simply say I needed a mental break, or time off to rejuvenate, which are the reasons why we go on our annual vacations. The term vacation has its origin from the word vacate. I wasn’t vacating, nor was I going on a vacation, in what we Americans consider to be. I did not have a qualifying reason of why I needed to do this, but that doesn’t mean I am not discovering as I’ve been going along with it.

What I’ve noticed in this first week I’ve been on the road is that I slowed down. People who know me well in my personal and professional life might agree that I do have high energy. That energy had been tamed considerably due to the emotional state I’ve been living in, but it isn’t my natural state. I can operate fast and simultaneously in many areas, and that is what I did during Brynn’s battle and ever since. It was not because I was trying to distract myself, or avoidance, but more so to bring focus to a lot of the different things I had taken up. They say the brain can consume up to 25% of a human’s energy. And mine has been on overdrive, trying to keep up with the demands I had control over, and others that had control over me.

But, what does slowing down mean really? I’ve always associated slowing down to reducing the amount of stimulation I surrounded myself with. The opposite of “being busy.” Like wanting to move up to the mountains to get out of the hustle of the city and live a simpler life. What I’m learning on this journey is that it’s sometimes just turning around on the road I’ve been on. Turning around to explore if what I just saw in that fleeting moment needs more of me and me needing more of it. Slowing down to be aware; to be present; to connect; be available, and simply be. It’s about recognizing the small details in life that you can notice if you’re able to give yourself space from your surrounding; the distractions, so you can be present with what matters the most at that point. And it’s about saying I see you, I hear you and I am here. I am still going to apply myself to things I’m passionate about, and maybe still be “busy.” But that does not mean I can’t be fully present while doing it.

Brynn once wrote in a blog that we were craving a slower pace life, but one rich with living. And perhaps the currency for that richness is simply being available and present wherever you are while doing whatever you’re at that moment. Because you do not know what fortune it will bring.

I’m not vacating... I’m refilling.

-Troy

P.S: glamping is fun and all. But I‘m really a fancier accommodations with a spectacular view kind of guy. Pinot in hand, of course. Just a regular outdoorsman, I tell you…

Day 8 - The Drive