Sleep glorious sleep

Source: Judith Prins, Unsplash

It’s been a while since the last blog mostly because my days have been focused on enjoying my post-Folfox recovery and spending time with family for the 4th of July so this one is going to be a bit more brief than previous blogs.

Before the cancer I was a deep sleeper. I was the type of person who could lay down, fall asleep within 5 minutes and stay asleep until I woke up 8 hours later. Cancer has changed that. I have become an extremely light sleeper and wake up multiple times during the night. Getting to sleep is still relatively easy with the help of melatonin, valerian root, a blackout mask and tramadol as needed but it doesn’t keep me asleep. I have gotten to know the time just by looking at the light outside and push myself to make it “just a couple more hours” on an almost nightly basis.

It’s been a strange adjustment that I am still trying to figure out. I find joy in the days where I can make it to 5 or 6 AM with uninterrupted sleep and tell myself on days when I can’t to just work and try harder. It’s been a weird change but one I hope will pass over time.

For now, I cope by having pre-sunrise movies on the couch and enjoy my naps whenever I need them. The hours have definitely been an adjustment but for now it’s manageable.

-Brynn